


Not the end, but the start of something else

by BlondeCanary



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 11:07:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13409967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlondeCanary/pseuds/BlondeCanary
Summary: Takes place after Charity & Debbie trash Joe Tate's house, Vanessa wants to know what's been going on with Charity.





	Not the end, but the start of something else

**Author's Note:**

> I started this nearly two weeks ago, right after the load-dropping episode™, but only just finished it. I must admit the absolutely awesome fic writers this fandom has been blessed with made me a bit self-conscious but here’s my take on Vanity, hope you’ll like it! Also, I’m not British, and not even a native speaker, so feel very free to point out any mistake

When Vanessa enters the pub to find someone other than Charity (bloody Paddy!) behind the bar for the fourth time in a row, she thinks it’s starting to feel like the blond barmaid is avoiding her.  
She gets that Christmas is a family thing – and family is the most important thing for a Dingle – but the lack of attention is slowly driving her crazy, and Charity’s racy, and probably liquor-soaked, texts on New Year’s Eve no longer make up for that. She had somehow gotten used to Charity seeking her out and flirting with her and now that the pub landlady seems to have found better things to do, she feels like an addict experiencing withdrawal symptoms.  
She knows she’s probably reading too much into it – when is Charity ever behind that bar anyway? – but that’s what she turned into these past few weeks, an insecure teenager glued to her phone. It’s becoming kind of pathetic. Of course, that’s part of the excitement when it comes to Charity Dingle: you never know what to expect. Or whether to expect anything at all…  
She’s sitting at a table in the corner, mopily sipping at a pint, when the object of her thoughts suddenly comes through the door with Debbie in tow, attracting everyone’s attention, but mostly Vanessa’s. Debbie is looking pretty much like she was when she entered the Woolpack earlier, but ten times worse. Of course, a moody Debbie is hardly that unusual but there’s something different about her today, something off. She seems to have reached a level of dejection that doesn’t sit well on a Dingle face.  
Charity, however, is sporting the same glow of self-satisfaction bordering on vindication that she wore on that late afternoon when she offered Vanessa her own brand of hangover cure. Just the thought of it makes Vanessa shiver and she struggles not to watch the pair too intently. There’s no need to feed people any more gossiping.  
Paddy stops Charity on their way to the house.  
“Where have you been? You should have been behind that bar hours ago!”  
He’s trying his best to look angry at Charity, but he really just looks scared of whatever retort she’s likely to throw back at him. Charity shrugs like it doesn’t really matter as Debbie drags her towards the door and Paddy lets it go with a sort of relieved sigh, barely calling after them.  
“Anyway, what have you been doing for all that time? Cain said something about the police…”  
“Home-wrecking” is all Charity says before she disappears behind the door.

***

It’s been about half an hour when Charity comes back to relieve Paddy of duty. He tries to ask questions but she’s obviously not in the mood to answer, not even bothering to come up with one of her usual comments about his lack of hair. Whatever happened in the back seems to have dragged her spirits down.  
Vanessa watches her as she settles into a position of self-pity. She has her elbows on the table, propping up her chin and there’s a scowl on her face and a blank look in her eyes. Most people would say she just seems bored or irritated, but Vanessa’s come to know better now. A bored Charity seeks some kind, any kind, of entertainment. But right now she’s visibly not seeking anything, except maybe some peace, or maybe someone to talk to? It’s not like she would ever outwardly show it.  
After a few minutes of observation, Vanessa deems it safe to move to the bar. This whatever mood the barmaid is in is not one that involves having a go at her when the pub is still packed from the happy hour.  
She feels a pang in her chest when Charity barely acknowledges her presence. Still, she knows that the best way to approach Charity is not to ask personal questions. So she settles for something a bit more trivial:  
“Hiya, I haven’t seen you in a while.”  
The bitterness in her voice is unmistakable, but somehow Charity doesn’t seem to notice. In fact, there’s not much that she seems to notice at all apart from her own misery.  
“Got bored of me, eh? I mean, it’s been two weeks…”  
“Yeah well sorry babe, I’m just so popular these days, everyone wants my attention!”  
Her laughter is too loud to be true, which must mean something pretty big is happening. And it involves the police, of course.  
“Are you alright?” she asks in a calmer, bitterness-free tone.  
“Sure, just another wonderful day in my life. Like every single day, really.”  
All this irony, it makes it sound like Charity wants to talk about it. So she asks.  
“What’s going on, Charity?”  
Charity sighs and opens her mouth a few times but she doesn’t say anything, so Vanessa tries to push her a little further.  
“Paddy said something about the police and Debbie’s…”  
Something shifts in Charity’s expression.  
“Oh, so you’ve just come to hear the latest tale then?  
“No, I just want to know what’s bothering you.”  
“Right.” Charity rolls her eyes and adds in a cold tone she’s never used with Vanessa before: “You’d really rather not know, cupcake.”  
The vet purses her lips and tries not to show the sting.  
“What if I do?”  
Somehow this seems to make Charity even angrier.  
“Oh, please! You said it yourself, we’re not a couple! Hell, we’re not even friends!”  
Vanessa’s not sure what to answer so she remains silent and Charity seems to take it as a confirmation.  
“Of course, you like it when it’s all Veronica-taunting and cellar fun. But deep down, you don’t want to know, Vanessa. You don’t want to know me, or what’s going on. Or what I did to his floor” she adds with a dry laugh.  
Vanessa feels the anger bubbling inside her.  
“And who are you to decide what I want or not?”  
“Oh, I don’t decide. I just know. Sweet righteous people like you will never understand people like me.”  
This time, Vanessa’s hurt enough to give up.

***

She’s just coming down the stairs from putting Johnny to bed when there’s a knock on the door.  
This time, Charity has the decency to look sorry instead of the usual flirty face she has when knocking on her door at this hour. Vanessa lets her in without a word and she sits on the couch, waiting for her to speak first. Charity sits next to her and reluctantly starts the conversation.  
“Look, I’m sorry for calling you ‘sweet’.”  
Vanessa rolls her eyes at this.  
“What? It’s true!” She goes silent for a moment. “What I mean is, I shouldn’t have pushed you away. Since you so desperately want to know.”  
This sounds like her way of acknowledging that Vanessa genuinely cares about her.  
But Vanessa needs to set some thing rights first.  
“You know I don’t go around listening to people telling tales about you. There’s only one person I want to hear them from.”  
“I know, I’m sorry for suggesting that.”  
“And I’m not some pure, innocent little thing, I can handle bad stuff. And I’ve done some as well.”  
“Yeah, I should know!”  
She blushes and hates herself for it. Yes, she’s definitely not an innocent virgin when it comes to sex, and yet there’s something so scandalous about Charity Dingle that still makes her feel like a dazed schoolgirl fascinated by the idea of sin.  
“But just because you can doesn’t mean you want. Or have to.”  
“Charity, I want to help you, okay? I really do.”  
“I know, Ness, but this cape of yours isn’t gonna work this time. Not that I don’t want you to wear it again, you know, for old time’s sake.”  
She winks at Vanessa who suddenly realizes she has no idea where she put the bloody thing. Hell, she was so out of it that she barely remembers what she did that morning. She definitely needs to look for it!  
“Talking can always help,” she offers, focusing back on the conversation. “And no judging, I promise.”  
Charity smiles at her but sighs: “It’s not going to change much anyway…”  
But Vanessa senses that she’s on the brink of opening up so she pushes it. Besides, Charity wouldn’t have come here if she wasn’t ready to talk, right? She only needs to feel that it’s her choice and not something Vanessa’s forcing her to do.  
“Look, you don’t have to tell me anything. And it’s true that I’m probably not really able to help your situation. But I’m still here for comfort, or, you know, other kinds of comfort.”  
But Charity just gives her a fond smile.  
“We’ll see about that later, eh?”  
And it’s at this moment, when Charity turns down the possibility of sex, that she knows something else is starting here. So she makes them both a brew and settles more comfortably on the couch, entangling their bodies.  
“I was married to that man, about fifteen years ago. He was rich…”  
“Oh, how surprising!” Vanessa can’t help but interrupt.  
Charity turns to give her a “come on now” look but she doesn’t seem offended.  
“Sorry keep going.”  
“So, Chris Tate…”  
“Noah’s dad?”  
“Yes. And someone else’s dad as well.”  
Charity stops there, as if she was waiting for Vanessa to further question her, making sure that she really wants to hear that story, that she’s agreeing to listen to it at her own risk. And she does. She knows that Charity is basically an all-or-nothing package and she wants it all.  
“Who?”  
Charity picks up her cup of tea and explains how Debbie’s secret boyfriend has turned out to be her first husband’s son who is intent on making her and her family’s lives miserable.  
“So he knows nothing about what happened and yet he’s doing all those horrible things and trying to put the blame on you? And he thinks people are going to fall for that? How thick is he?”  
“Does it really matter if other people blame me? I blame me so it must be enough for him already. Maybe that’s what winds me up the most, actually. That the little weasel’s struck a chord.”  
“Charity…”  
“I mean, Debbie’s heartbroken, homeless and without a job. Zak and Lisa are losing their house and now Chas and I gonna lose the pub as well, just because of me.”  
“They all know it’s not your fault.”  
“Yeah but he’s doing a great job of making it feel like it is! It’s just me, I drag people down. I mean, look at you yesterday, cupcake.”  
Vanessa moves the pillow behind her and straightens her back to be able to look at Charity directly.  
“Okay, I’m gonna tell you something. That “you’d be better off without me” act? Doesn’t work on me, never has. I’m a grown up, I make my own decisions and I’m here with you because I want to be. Just like Debbie and Chas and Zak.”  
“Debbie’s certainly never picked me as a mother!”  
“Yes, but they’re all choosing to keep you in their lives because you’re a good person.”  
Charity scoffs at that.  
“You are! It’s just, hidden underneath lots of less good stuff.”  
“Just like your inner badness is buried underneath lots of good stuff?”  
“Well, yeah.”  
They laugh together for a moment and it’s just so simple.  
“Look, for whatever it’s worth, I’m on your side. Just remember that.”  
“I will.”  
Their faces are so close by now that it’s so easy to just bend over and connect their lips. Once, twice, and then she loses count of the short kisses they exchange.  
Suddenly remembering something, she puts her empty cup on the table and asks:  
“Oh and by the way, what did you do to that bloke’s floor?”  
Much to Vanessa’s surprise, Charity really does look embarrassed for once.  
“That’s something you really don’t want to know, babe. Let’s keep the seduction going, will ya?”  
“Oh seduction, I know plenty about that” she says in her lowest voice and is very pleased when Charity visibly squirms.  
Suddenly their lips are moving together and nothing but the swipe of Charity’s tongue and the softness of her mouth matters. Somehow, the full-on makeout turns slower and after a while they’re just kissing and it’s so comfortable and tender that Vanessa doesn’t want to move, ever. Charity is the first one to pull away.  
“Ugh, I should probably go back.”  
She looks more tired than Vanessa has ever seen her. But also softer.  
“Debbie and the kids, they need me.”  
“I know.”  
And yes, she does know, now that Charity’s let her in. They share an understanding look and the barmaid gives her one last peck.  
It’s been one long and tiring day and Vanessa lets herself sink into the couch as Charity gathers her stuff. She’s about to walk through the door when she suddenly stops and turns.  
“Oi Vanessa…”  
“Yeah?” she answers in an already sleepy voice.  
“I um… I’ll tell you the whole story one day, you know that right?”  
Vanessa gives her a lopsided smile.  
“Well, you know where to find me.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know my editing is FAR from perfect but tbh I don't really know how to make it better (my Word doc looks great) so if anyone has some piece of advice


End file.
